Ever see that show The Young Ones? There’s an episode where Neil is walking through a graveyard, and he passes a grave digger who is obviously excavating. He asks the man, “Aye, do you dig graves?”
And the gravedigger answers: “Yeah, I like ‘em. They’re all right.”
I’m a road trip digger.
That was a horrible tie-in, I know.
I’m looking for a connection with you, reader. Work with me.
Okay, maybe you haven’t seen The Young Ones. Have you ever driven from far inland toward the coast until you couldn’t drive anymore? Alone?
I did it when I lived in Northern California. And I stood at the edge of California’s skin and looked out at the ocean, and I felt like I was exhaling after holding my breath for too long.
I was told that Californian’s are some of the most creative, intellectual, and innovative beings in the United States because of that big empty ocean. When you’re given an open space to stare at, your mind is filled with endless possibility–free to imagine, create, and believe in fairy tales if need be. All this according to a nasty rumor (actually, my professor told me it’s been evidenced in a study. I like to believe that it was conducted by Mensa and not the California Board of Tourism, because we are. Pretty sure it’s true. I dated a guy whose mother was an interior designer, and she said, “Every room of a house should have an open or blank wall. Your eyes and your mind need a place to rest.”).
My thoughts are like road trips with detours so let’s get back on track.
I’ve done lonely drives in DC, many cities in Europe, Asia, Australia… I sometimes felt like I needed a Sonny to my Cher–a co-pilot to my Captain Over, over.
Then, I made a road trip into the Los Padres National Forest with a man.
This guy drove under a waterfall and let it splash on me, he didn’t refuse when I asked if we could listen to Playboy talk radio on sirius—interesting discussion about how to bring a woman to orgasm—and he actually listened to the discussion. Our jokes clicked like every key-in-hole innuendo you can think of.
We stopped at outlooks and looked out, standing a few feet apart with our hands in our pockets, in easy silence. Roger, Roger—I did enjoy having a co-pilot to my Captain Over, over.
And, as we stood at the look out, peering out over the hills and valleys of Ventura, minds opening like the valley below us, I told the man about my solo adventures. Maybe that’s why he was quiet. He was quietly thinking, “Man, this chick is fuckin’ lonely!”
I said to him, “I realize that I was alone on my trips, but I wasn’t always lonely. There’s a difference.”
Sure, I would have liked someone to ooh and ahh at everything with me, but the ultimate test of our own self-love is how we feel when we’re alone. Can we stand to be with ourselves without constantly desiring a companion?
Alone, I could turn the radio on and off as I desired, and enjoy the silence said Depeche Mode. I could eat in the car and dribble mayonnaise on my shirt without feeling too embarrassed and whisper to myself, “It’s okay, slob. I still love you.” I could think as deeply as I wanted while exhaling over the Pacific ocean… and maybe cry like a little baby when I felt my soul come up to say hello. Or I could concentrate on the lyrics of a song and get lost on some insane railroad of thought without being derailed by another person.
Henry David Thoreau isolated himself up at Walden Woods and look what he did with the time. Oh, hell… I love being with others on road trips, I’m just saying that alone does not always mean lonely.
Two purposes to this blog:
1. To shoot the shit about how valuable solitude is and express how much I dig a road trip—with or without people (preferably with company), and
2. to share some resources. With a little bit of fingering and determination (just a little), you will come … to find (maybe) some quiet places, away from crowds, to connect with someone else, or yourself.
Here she blows — 5 WEBSITES:
Trails.com
http://www.trails.com/trailfinder/browsebymap/?q=93001#trailid=HGS360-036&lat=34.48926&lon=-119.29941&zoom=12&m=terrain&a=ALL
Move the map around to maneuver through different hikes, bike rides, or drives in the Ventura area. Once you find a path you like, the website will ask you to register and pay. FUGHEDABOUTIT!! Google the name of the hike… guaranteed, someone has posted free directions.
Mountain Travel Guide: Ventura County Hikes
http://www.mountaintravelguide.com/California/Ventura/Hiking/VenturaHikingTrails.htm
List form rather than a map. Also lists trails in other states.
Ventura County Star
http://www.vcstar.com/news/sports/recreation/hikes/
Ventura County Star photo editor and hike guru Gary Phelps leads you on some of best hikes in and around Ventura County. Make sure you read first.. some of these hikes require the Adventure Pass for parking.
Local Hikes
http://www.localhikes.com/
It reads “Los Angeles, Riverside, Orange County” at the top of the page, but there are a few Thousand Oaks hikes in there, too.
Ventura River Trail
http://www.ventura-usa.com/includes/media/docs/Ventura-River-Trail-Guide.PDF
Not really a website, but a PDF brochure. Did you know that there is a trail near the river?
One little Pic from our drive:
Looking out over Ventura.
Published by permission. Visit Mari's blog at http://www.mari-go-round.com/
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